Sinjin Maldivine Von Grelgrun III is the cad currently starring in the thoroughly debauched The Absinthe Monologues. Curio shared an absinthe or five with the deranged dandy.

How are you enjoying the Festival?
It’s fine. Rather a lot of homeless around though but it’s handy to have my cane to hand. However I am enjoying the Scotch men in kilts walking around, especially when its windy.

And how much absinthe exactly are you drinking, old boy?
O dear … Impossible to say but I’m on at least a bottle of the green stuff a day. I can’t get enough of the green fairy.

How’s your show going?
Fantastic! The cast and I have key moments when they are slightly out of control, but we have managed to keep ourselves under control so far, and my little green fairies have entertained me till my heart's content.

Anything happened out of the ordinary to you so far?
Our show isn’t actually ordinary, so if anything ordinary happended that would be extraordinary, if you see what I mean. No testicles showing yet.

Your testicles or the audience?
Haha! Either! Though if any of the audience do want to show a ball, I’m game.

Seen any good shows yourself?
Yes,  Sinjin has been getting about. Wonderful thing called my Filthy Hunt at the Zoo. The rest of the shows are mostly just dross. I’ve kept mainly in the bars, darling. You cant keep me out of the them.

What do you love about the Edinburgh Festival?
It’s a chance to get well and truly rat-arsed and generally generally be abusive, especially on the Royal Mile. I met one poor girl who was trying to sell a show with a pun – the lowest form of wit!

Anything you dislike about the Festival?
The constant pressure to look gorgeous is quite harrowing. I had a spot the other day and was just squeezing, squeezing, squeezing. The spot I mean. Anyway darling, the green fairies are back and I simply must dash. Up the Empire and all that!

The Absinthe Monlogues
Zoo Southside
7.45pm