Tucked away from the Festival crowds in a tea-room in the Capital, the Bearded Ladies meet to exchange the latest rumours and hearsay. The Festival with all its salubrious scandal and controversy has started these ladies’ tongues wagging.

Bacchae-stabbing
We Ladies were told a rather amusing tale this week. A barmaid in a local Edinburgh bar was having a well-earned ciggie break outside her workplace. She was ruminating with a friend about the merits of The Bacchae which is finishing its run at the Kings Theatre. The barmaid was rather scathing about several aspects of the play and was rather indignant when a middle-aged woman began to join in the conversation. The old lady asked the barmaid if she could elaborate on some of the finer points that she was making. Our boisterous barmaid did this with aplomb, getting increasingly more scathing and vitriolic about the adaption of Euripedes’ greek tragedy. The older lady became visibly more agitated as the play took its pounding. Just as our barmaid was telling everyone within earshot that she herself would play the part of shepherd in the play as she felt the work suffered from a thin cast , the old woman, who could take it no more,  revealed herself as none other than the mother of David Greig, the director of The Bacchae. She informed the barmaid that her views would be passed on to her son. Not very often you hear of a barmaid tipping off the customer!

An-Amos-ity
Stephen K Amos, the hilarious comedian, was in a fizz this week. Our very own Curio bumped into the star in the vip Loft Bar in the Gilded Balloon, and told him a tale to chill the very marrow of his bones. It would seem that Mr Amos has a doppelganger. And one who is taking full advantage of his good fortune of sharing an uncanny resemblance to the popular stand-up. The look-a-like works as a shop assistant in a well-known fashion outlet in Edinburgh and has been repeatedly mistaken for the star. This he has milked for all it is worth, getting free drinks, invited to parties and even amorous attention from the opposite sex. And all because people think he is Mr Amos. Needless to say when Curio told Stephen of this trickery last week, sparks flew and Stephen has requested an urgent meeting with the fellow. Stay tuned on this one!

Carr's hole
That vile toad Jimmy Carr has been at it again, we hear. Not content with allegedly pinching every comedians' jokes under the sun, and dabbling in the black art of neuro-linguistic programmming in order to pump up sales of his bland-as-beige dvds, the button-faced lad from Limerick, has now taking to the blacker art of bullying flyer girls. The stumpy-legged moron, when handed a Curiofestival flyer the other day, turned to the young flyer girl and angrily snapped: "I sell out shows, what do I need a review website for?! A little advice from the bearded ones, Jimmy: What goes up, must come down. And when you hit the ground, there will be two pairs of ladies size-12 heels stomping on your smug, corporate, former oil-peddling little face. Ahem, that's better. More tea, dear?

The Bearded Ladies ‘Careless Whiskers’ column will be appearing regularly.
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